When people come to my neighborhood they sometimes ask me, “Maya, where should I go for a drink?” or “What’s a good restaurant on Vanderbilt Avenue?” or “Where is Prospect Heights?” so today in the interest of being a good neighborhood ambassador I am launching the Prospect Heights Power Rankings. For the sake of our rankings we are loosely defining the geography of Prospect Heights to include nearby walkable areas that are influential to members of the Prospect Heights community. This is not an all-encompassing review of every establishment in the neighborhood, just some places I have noticed, good or bad. If you hate this review, do not tell me. If you love this review, please tell me. If this is not applicable to you, I’m sorry.
16. The fact that the Doctor Who bar on Washington Avenue is now a smoke shop named after a 2012 movie written and directed by the Wachowskis: What could I possibly say about this. They paved paradise and put up a smoke shop called Cloud Atlas. Chase bought a joint from here last week. “Bad smoke,” he said. “Like just tasted kinda harsh.”
15. The eventual opening of Chelsea Piers Fitness Prospect Heights: As a newly self-identified meathead, I have been known to complain about what I call the Prospect Heights gym desert: There is the Crunch on Flatbush and the Blink on Fulton and Franklin (which is clearly not even in Prospect Heights but that’s how much we’re reaching for places to work out here), there is the Y up on Bedford in Bed Stuy, and there are the specialty/crossfit oriented gyms that dot the warehouse-y, commercially zoned landscape around Classon and Grand, just south of Atlantic. But this is all set to change in a few months when, I have been told, the Chelsea Piers Fitness Prospect Heights location opens on Dean between Vanderbilt and Carlton. Obviously I already signed up to be made aware of when it opens and I look forward to the prospect of having more than two squat racks at my disposal.
14. The existence of “Beer Street South”: It’s hard for me to imagine a more soulless bar, but it must exist, because I just found out there’s also a Beer Street North in Williamsburg. Chase went here one time, which is the only fact I know about it besides that it serves beer.
13. There’s a weird new building on St. Marks Place between Vanderbilt and Underhill, next to the schoolyard, and I don’t like it: Here at Pithy Outcomes, our official stance is that we don’t like this building. Really strange looking! Looks like a cruise ship. Do people live here? “Who ‘designed’ this?” asked R&D Foods on Instagram last month. It’s a fair question, and as a community, we deserve answers.
12. The spaceship car’s new location on Underhill: Part of the joy of walking down Park Place from the Q train back home was always passing the spaceship car. I would take a picture of it and post it to my Instagram stories, and someone who doesn’t live here would reply and say “what is that???” But in recent months Park Place has been torn up and under serious construction, forcing the relocation of the spaceship car (I haven’t seen it driving recently but I’m guessing that’s how it moved over to Underhill). I paid it a visit two weeks ago after a particularly boozy dinner at Sofreh and Chase made me take this picture with it:
11. The possibly, maybe permanent shuttering of Ample Hills: The Ample Hills on Vanderbilt is closed again amid ongoing liquidity woes, dealing a serious blow to people who have the tastebuds of 5 year olds and like their ice cream riddled with so much sweet stuff you can feel yourself developing a mouth-sized cavity while eating it. Per Eater: “The ice cream maker, which was sold to manufacturing company Schmitt Industries in 2020 following its bankruptcy, shuttered its 12 scoop shops across New York, New Jersey, and California on December 19 in a bid to raise money to keep the business running.” According to a statement on its website: “There is no assurance that additional capital will be obtained and if the company cannot raise sufficient capital, it will be required to shut down operations indefinitely.”
10. Another Olmsted restaurant: The newly opened Petite Patate, in the space that used to belong to yakitori-French fusion restaurant Maison Yaki. I won’t yuck their yum until I try it myself (plus I cannot deny that I am thrilled to see a French bistro pop up in the neighborhood, and if it’s good maybe it will replace my favorite just fine but really cheap French restaurant in Boerum Hill) but color me a little skeptical about another restaurant in this family of establishments. Olmsted is pricey but good! I’m just wary of all of these reinventions of the wheel.
9. For a pretty good bar experience, consider The Barlow: I wrote this place off when it first opened, but it’s become the perfect place to go for a date or a happy hour drink, or to read a book and eat a plate of fries or a not too healthy dinner salad and drink a glass of wine. The kind of neighborhood spot you want — not crowded or too loud, and nobody is making TikToks overhyping it, and even if they were, I kinda doubt 22 year olds would find themselves in Prospect Heights at this bar, donning going out tops or whatever they’re wearing to party.
8. That one extremely large residential building on St. Marks Place that keeps its windows closed so as to avoid any indications that someone casually maybe built a mansion in Prospect Heights: For color commentary on this one I defer to my friend Julie: “If your home is so far above the typical socioeconomic profile of the neighborhood that you have to disguise it from your neighbors that walk by it every day, then I think you should probably be paying more taxes.”
7. The renovation of Ideal Food Basket: Not long ago, I would have considered Ideal Food Basket on Washington Avenue less than ideal. But a recent renovation that reconfigured the store’s layout and added a “beer cave” has made it a slightly nicer place to go buy plain La Croix seltzer and ice cream.
6. The shoppy shop at R&D Foods: I’m loath to use that descriptor for fear of it sounding negative, but I’m a big fan of R&D Goods, the sister and neighbor store to sandwich haven R&D Foods on Vanderbilt. I mean this genuinely and without a lick of snark: Vanderbilt Avenue needed a store where you can buy textiles, fun glassware and tastefully branded olive oil at once and now we have it. And we don’t need a second or a third store like this! We’re good now!
5. If I may recommend one perfect meal at Prospect Butcher: The sandwich that’s turkey, Crystal hot sauce, Duke’s mayo, arugula and bacon jam, alongside a self-serve cup of chicken bone broth ($5!). Everyone who works here is both really attractive and super nice, which I have to imagine is a result of being a worker-owned shop.
4. The Islands is still the best (maybe only? idk) BYOB restaurant in the neighborhood. And it’s never packed, you don’t need a reservation, and even though every time I go they’re already sold out of 2-3 things I wanted to order, what they do offer is not disappointing. One time I came here with Jackie for her birthday and attempted to open a bottle of pet nat and it exploded everywhere, which was embarrassing.
3. An actually very good lunch special is Inaka on Vanderbilt. Two rolls for $12 or 3 for $15. I promise it’s enough food.
2. The takeover of the saxophone building on Fulton and Classon: This isn’t technically Prospect Heights (and it’s probably contentious as to whether it’s considered Clinton Hill or Bed Stuy, I honestly don’t know which it is, just pick one), but this garish instrument-adorned residential building has become a landmark in its own right, if only to literally one person (me). I have so many questions about it. Is the building in Bushwick that is adorned with an illustration of a piano owned by the same management company, or is that merely a musical coincidence? Who is the stakeholder responsible for putting the saxophone on the building? Are any tenants in the building living there because of the saxophone?
1. The McDonalds on Vanderbilt and Atlantic: Though not long for this world due to the increasing Big Mixed Use Buildingification of Atlantic Avenue, the McDonalds at 840 Atlantic Avenue comes out on top in our power rankings. I would actually argue that a McFlurry from this McDonalds (< $3) is the best ice cream in the neighborhood, at both a flavor and price point level.
Hi Maya thank you for this list! I just want to share that I once opened a bottle of pet nat at Astoria Seafood and it exploded all over me AND the stranger sitting next to me at the long communal table we were sharing.